I wish i was in the wii world.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
