Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
