lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
