Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
