he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
