I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize