i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
