tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
