hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
