She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You ate ashes out of my bong
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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