is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
