Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
