We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
