I'm jealous of your bromance
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
