We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
