Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
