Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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