i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
