haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
