PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
