I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
