susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
