I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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