i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
