I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize