she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
