Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize