My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
