I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
