I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
