problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
