Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh god it's open bar.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
