Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize