He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
