I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize