i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
