You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
