Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
