The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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