A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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