I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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