Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
