Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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