just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
