They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
