She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
