We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
