is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
