Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
