i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
