Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
