I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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