When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
