how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
