Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
