My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
