singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
