as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize