im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i want to swaddle you in tequila
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
