Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize