You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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