i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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