you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
they're like a gay fantastic four
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
